week eleven

I think I’m getting a glimpse of what’s to come during the teenage years.

I’m sorry I’ve been a bit absent here. I’ll be back again soon. Hope you’re all well. Say hi if you feel like it, won’t you?

and now, back to happier programming

Thanks for all your advice and compassion, friends. I’m happy to report that Bee has been sleeping better in the last couple of days, which is making me feel much less weepy (amazing what the lack of baby sleep can do to a parent), and we have been receiving the occasional visitor here. My grandparents can’t come to us, unfortunately, since they are in the nineties and not that mobile, but we’re attempting a couple of things to make this trip work better. We are trying to nap at home with less guilt, and after Bee wakes up from one of her morning naps, I powerwalk over to my grandmother’s house for a short visit. I’m having a little more trouble figuring out how to visit my other set of grandparents, since we actually need to get into the car to go to their house, but luckily Otis is keeping them busy. I think the answer will be the occasional visit with the sling (and the air conditioner on full blast - it’s a million degrees here, with accompanying humidity). We’re scheduled to go home a couple of days early, so we’re still around for another 8 days, but it somehow makes the rest of the trip seem more doable. So there we have it. Not a perfect solution, but hopefully acceptable for now, with the promise of an easier visit next year.

On a brighter note, I’ve been meaning to tell you forever about this wonderful surprise that I received shortly before the arrival of Ms. Bee:

Look at that adorableness! Unfortunately, it was too big for us to bring to Taiwan, but I think it might just be the perfect size for our trip to Jamaica in December. I can’t wait to put on the bloomers. It was made by local girl, Sara, and she’s got a great little Etsy store. Will you go visit it? Quickly, do it before her own little package arrives. She’s expecting at the end of the summer.

week seven

Thanks for the dress, Aunt Dora!

I have this friend - for the sake of storytelling, let’s call her “chicomama” - and she decided that she would travel overseas with her 3 year old (”Mobis”) and 6-week old (”Dee”). It’s not that she thought it would be fun or anything to fly for more than 12 hours and deal with 2 jetlagged kids at once, but I do remember a certain air of insouciance in her tone. Well, no longer. She lived to tell the tale and although she may one day look upon this experience with nostalgia in her heart and laughter in her eyes, she uses expressions such as “longer than childbirth and probably more painful…” She will never be quite the same again.

week six

How could I have ever been opposed to ruffles? Next, I’ll be dressing her in leg o’ mutton sleeves.

Happily, Ms. Bee chose today of all days to sleep beautifully so we are just about packed and ready to leave for Taiwan. Uh, that’s because six weeks is the PEAK of fussiness and it just gets better from here, right? Right? Anyone? Bueller? Graduation ceremony tonight, last day of school tomorrow, and we are off on our adventure (if consider visiting a bunch of grandmothers and great-grandparents an adventure). You’ll be hearing from us, though. We’ll have lots of free time on our hands, and we’ll want to keep F updated on our mischief, as he is staying home. Anybody want to tell us about their summer adventures?

one month

I always start out planning our parties with the best of intentions (for my own sanity, that is). Nothing fancy, just food and friends, although usually I end up feeling a little stressed at some point during the preparation process. I’m pretty sure that when I was preparing for Otis’s man yue (1-month) party that I cried at least once, but then again, I was sleeping much less back then. This time, I was smart: an easy menu with lots of food that would be grilled outside on our brand new, craigslist BBQ (do I have to tell you again how much I lurve craigslist?) and most of the other food prepared in advance, so that by party time, I was relaxed and ready.

See how happy?

Ms. Bee was bathed and dressed in her special outfit, a gift from our friend, Elizabeth, that so suit my taste that she did a better job of picking it out than I would’ve. You can’t really see from the picture, but her eyes are still blue-grey, and her hair has these crazy blond highlights.

(And, yes, Chinese mafia, her face is bumpy and red, and yes, I’m pretty sure that it’s bad case of baby acne and not 1. a rash, 2. allergies, 3. caused by the heat, or 4. the plague, but I will ask next time we visit the pediatrician.)

Friends started arriving and socializing. It was fun to see friends and chat, but I am just about always a nervous hostess, distracted and worrying whether everyone has enough food and drinks. I love it but I hate it, you know? Add to that mix a posse of noisy, excited kids and a tired baby, and by the end of the day, I felt a little like this:

I guess this just reconfirms how poor my social skills are (and I think they’re just getting worse as I get older, unfortunately). But I think that people had fun. We have the empty beer bottles and almost complete lack of leftovers to prove it. It was great to celebrate with friends and family (my father even arrived about a week ago so he was able to join in on the fun) and our guests were sent home with red-dyed eggs, as is Chinese tradition. Thankfully, I don’t have to think about another party for another 9 months.

three weeks

otis at your service

I just love Otis’s school. The teachers are so in tuned with his personality and his needs, and he has grown so much since he started in September. Heck, they even taught him how to pee standing up, which I personally thought could wait at least until his age hit the double digits. But I am most grateful for how well they prepared him for the arrival of Miss Bee. Our head teacher and her partner had a son a few months ago, and he was quickly integrated into the school curriculum. Often I arrived in time to witness the kids learning the difference between gentle touching and mauling. The teachers did a lot of family role playing with Otis, with him taking care of his baby (usually a kangaroo or a frog) and his playing repertoire has been much expanded as a result (although I’ve heard that occasionally while playing “family” with classmates, he prefers to be the family dog).

So I think that this baby experience is so far a little disappointing for Otis. By the time she arrived, he was more than ready to practice all he’d learned, but she’s asleep most of the time. So we’ve started to consult him on various issues. When she wakes up, we ask him if he thinks we should feed her. Does her diaper need to be changed? Would she like the pacifier? And now, I think I’ve found the perfect way to include Otis. Bee has been so sleepy that it’s usually difficult to keep her awake during feedings, and the perfect way to exploit Otis’s, er, talents seems to be for him to be the official waker-upper. He gets to be silly and loud and helpful, a perfect combination for Otis, and for once, I am encouraging it.

week one

Thanks, friends, for all the well wishes. I have so looked forward to opening my inbox every day and reading your comments and emails, and it still amazes and surprises me that people that I’ve only met online would care about what happens to our little family, so thank you as well for being there when we had such good news to share.

Here we are, one fast and hazy week later:

I feel like she looks so different already. F claims that she already has an arsenal of disapproving looks.

I have been simply amazed by how this first postpartum week has been from the last time. Miss Bee, from all evidence so far (and I’m praying that I’m not cursing myself by committing this to writing) is a contented, sleepy baby. What a novel concept! In fact, while we were in the hospital, I kept hearing a baby, whom I could swear was down the hall, crying furiously and inconsolably, night and day, and it reminded me so much of how Otis was after he was born - it was like I was being haunted by the Ghost of Otis Past. I finally forced F to go investigate the case of the Crying Baby, and it turns out that they were in the room next door (so, right behind my head) and their door was always open so the crying just seemed louder. I was grateful, nonetheless, for the rest that Miss Bee granted us so that we felt rather human by the time we were discharged from the hospital.

Before Otis came to visit us at the hospital, F engaged in this ridiculous caper of Hide the Baby, since we were advised by our pediatrician and by a nurse at the hospital to not have Bee in the room with us when he came for his first visit. He’ll want to see Mom and Dad, they said, and he may not necessarily want to meet the baby, and in fact may feel excluded if he sees the three of you together. We thought it made sense, but because of busy nurse schedules and the complication of the nursery being on a different floor, F ended up running around with Bee in her bassinet, finally pretending that he was casually standing around alone in the hallway, when Otis arrived with my mom. And wouldn’t you know it? Without a second glance at either of us, he just kept demanding, “Where’s my baby? Where’s my baby?” This all seems very Otis to me.

Otis has been really great: excited but gentle, full of hugs and kisses, and always wanting to be helpful. But suddenly everything about him seems to be amplified - although two weeks ago, I still thought of him as my baby, he now looks so large and mature; it also feels like someone came while I was in the hospital and turned his volume wayyyyyy up. I know that the fatigue and hormones are making me sensitive and short on patience, and I feel incredibly guilty that I’m finding it a little difficult to deal with his energy right now. F, my mom, and Fifth Aunt Grandma K have done a fantastic job of stepping in, but I think we definitely need to find a way to spend some quality time together, getting along and enjoying each other.

But all in all, a good week. I did wake up last Friday feeling like I had lost a bar brawl, but I feel like I’m getting some sleep and physically healing. We’ve been out and about, and F and I even celebrated our wedding anniversary Monday night with a nice dinner at the new hot spot in town, with Miss Bee in tow. Not much to complain about. Maybe this next week I’ll even convince myself to take more naps during the day.

before and after

before:

and after:

flora bee
may 21, 6:32pm
8 lbs, 9 oz
21 inches
we’ll call her bee.