Thanks, by the way, for the comments on the selling of stuff. I have the feeling that I didn’t make myself entirely clear — what’s holding me back is not primarily the reluctance to start my own business, or even the production side of things, though those are not small issues. I think that the thing I struggle with lately, especially with Christmas just come and gone, is the excess of stuff. I’m striving to live with less, and believe that it’s generally a better way to live, and I’d like to reconcile these feelings with the desire to make stuff to sell.
I’m curious to know if you folks out there cut back this holiday season and why. I’ve never been a huge Christmas gift giver, which is the reason why I’ve always made candy (uh, until this year). And I really try to encourage family not to buy too many gifts. But as usual, we ended up with a mantle full of gifts, and I was as guilty as anyone in buying too many presents for loved ones (except for Fifth Aunt Grandma K, who takes the cake in this category, but only because she loves us too much). I tell myself that I should just let loose a little, it’s OK if Christmas is every bit the free-for-all that Halloween is, since that’s part of the fun of being a kid. Unfortunately, Otis didn’t get to eat all of his Halloween candy, either, but I SWEAR he forgot about it. I found myself saying rather crossly several times, “Christmas is NOT about presents! It is about spending time with the people you love!!!” How do you guys handle the holiday shopping season?
I also struggle with the issues of excess. Having lived in developing countries where poverty is a prevalent issue, and where people make do with so little, I realise that much of my own excesses come from being able to afford it.
This year, I bought things, and then realised that really, it’s all rather silly. In essence, we’re just exchanging money in another form. Everyone in the family has a good job, makes decent income and we can afford to go buy ourselves things. My kids got gift cards from their grandfather. They got a game from their aunt and uncle. I got a lovely handmade necklace from my inlaws – it was made by a friend of theirs and they purchased it.
I think it is ok for the kids to be spoiled at Christmas IF I restrain myself year round. The problem is I don’t….because I don’t see why I should….
sigh….
I spend money on books and playmobil toys year round.
This Christmas was particularly poignant – as you know we had a death in the family, and we were all gathered as a family to celebrate the passage of a life well lived. The gift giving was nothing special. It was fun and funny but it wasn’t the same.
We also struggle with the consumerism that is so much a part of Christmas. As Christians, we are celebrating the birth of our Savior and feel that so often that gets lost in all the stuff.
This year we encouraged our in-laws to make our day together more about enjoying each others company and less about the gifts. Happily, they listened and we all received one gift! I was especially impressed because we have a 1 year old and we were afraid that we might be coming home with mounds of things. It was by far the nicest Christmas we have ever spent with them (I’m sure a great deal of that can be attributed to the presence of our child!) and there were the fewest amount of gifts.
Christmas with my parents was much the same way and we were really all able to enjoy one another and not stress out about the buying, giving and possible returning of gifts. I hope that we can make it a blueprint for the future. Although we haven’t yet been personally affected by the lean times, it has certainly made us take a look at how much we really need and what makes us truly happy.
That being said, it is really hard to hold back when you want to create things! Perhaps, with your business you could do something in the vein of schone maternity. They encourage the buyer to pass on the clothing or to send the clothes back to them, so that they can pass it on to a shelter for young mothers and babies.
After years of talk, both my and my husband’s families actually cut down on the gift giving this year. It felt really good. We have been giving charity donations in people’s names for a few years and this year I got my sister-in-law to do the same for me. It made me so happy to get a certificate for three shares in a goat instead of another sweater or throw blanket that I don’t have room for. We helped my daughter make christmas ornaments for her cousins in the hope that she would learn about giving from the heart and creating something personal instead of running to the mall. She had a real sense of pride and it went over well, so I think it’s something we will repeat.
It was a relief to read your comment about dealing with santa. You seem like a joyfully goofy family so if you are not doing the santa thing I must not be a horrible mother for going the same route.
I’m with you. Now that we’ve left the Bay Area and are living in a small, temporary apartment an ocean away, I was hoping to limit the acquisitions. This was the practical reasoning as our little non-religious family continues to search for a way to commemorate the holiday season while respecting the different beliefs and traditions of the larger family. In the end, we cut back feeling it was in the spirit of the times, but were still given way too much.
The best thing that came our way was a gift from my brother-in-law and sister-in-law–they bought tickets to the circus for the extended family. We all had a great time together and nothing but memories and photos to tote home.
we cut back a little, but not much – but we were fairly low-key to begin with! it seems like we’ve been toning it down a little every year, even with the kid. it’s spartan compared to my childhood christmases, which were over-the-top (my mom has self-control issues) and now make me cringe in retrospect.
one way to think of it is that you are making beautiful, useful, high-quality things, produced on a relatively small scale (i’m assuming!). you are giving buyers an alternative to target, etc. what you make is even biodegradeable! you are not producing pallet after pallet of supersized “character” junk, destined for a landfill.
Nice collage, very cute ‘shrooms. As for the stuff thing, I hear ya. Try working in advertising. I shudder to think of all the useless cr*p I’ve convinced people to buy over the years. But at least when you are producing your own goods, you can control whether it’s beautiful, useful, etc. And I think your bibs are both. xo
i worry too about contributing to this excess of production and stuff.
i think it’s great that everyone is aware and makes the effort to not contribute as much as possible.
i for one am easily entertained and amused by all lil trinkets, toys, and accessories, so it’s hard sometimes to restrain myself.
however, i’ve begun thinking twice before making purchases.
also, i’ve learned that creating and sharing in experiences is just as or more so entertaining and amusing than actual things.
for example, for christmas this year my friends and i made each other christmas hats (mine was a white beret that had frosty the snowman’s face on it, hahaha) and spent the day walking around manhattan, eating brunch, and sipping hot coffee around central park.
it was definitely a memorable christmas!! :)
oh i meant to say hot chocolate, not hot coffee. hehehe
Hey lady! I’ve never wanted to go into debt at Christmas so I just make cookies for extended family and put a cap on how much to spend at home. I think that with a kiddo in the picture I certainly spend more, but we don’t go overboard. In fact. we only bought Harlan a couple of things this year. He gets so much from grandparents, that he ends up with about 10 to 15 things to open. That seems like a lot to me, although I think to some folks it might not be. I didn’t cut back this year, but I’m coming a place where I’ve only ever purchased the bare minimum anyhow.
Hey, Mimi, it’s been awhile!
Regarding gifts at Christmas and consumerism – and, actually, anytime – I’ve struggled with this for awhile mainly because of the disparity in income of my kids’ friends and even within our extended family. I probably worry too much. Now that my kids are almost 11 and 8, I’m seeing the results of working at the “less is more” philosophy with them. Some things that seem to have worked: They don’t get toys during the year unless it’s their birthday or Christmas. When they remember to save their allowance, which is modest, they’ve learned the hard way about spending their money on a toy with lots of packaging (say, from Target) and something else that lasts longer (like real tools from the hardware store or toys from a used toy store.) When they ask for toys and electronics that their friends have, we don’t stress – we just talk about how much fun having that thing MIGHT be, anticipate the options for birthdays, etc.
We try to give them at least one thing they ask for and, then, we make homemade gifts as well. Their grandparents have always given them one thing each, sometimes small, too, b/c of economics.
I guess, to keep this shorter, I try to live the values. I think I do convince them that all I want for Christmas is them (although I also love books and homemade gifts.) That I really love getting together with family and friends. And, I make a point of special gatherings (that I can handle!) around the holdiays. We also talk a bit about economics and how the income is split up to pay for things – without worrying them – and how lucky we are to have choices.
Okay, enough! BTW, they don’t always like my homemade stuff but I love doing it. ;-)